


(I'm Not) Better Off Without You

by Holisticgay



Series: (I'm Not) Better Off Without You [1]
Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breakup, Emotional Hurt, Happy Ending, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Langst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-08 12:02:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14104956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holisticgay/pseuds/Holisticgay
Summary: “So you think I deserve to be happy?”“Yes! Lance, that’s all I want for you.”“Then why did you break up with me?”“I told you, I-”“Because you made me so happy, Keith. You made me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I didn’t care that you didn’t want to cuddle a lot or talk about sappy shit. I didn’t care that you didn’t like pda. All I cared about was being able to just be with you.”





	1. Chapter 1

Lance had thought things were going good. 

 

He  _ knew _ things were going good. But then again, he had also thought they had gotten way better with communicating. So he guesses maybe he didn’t know anything at all. He didn’t understand anything as Keith had him sit and proceeded to tell him they were over. 

 

They couldn’t be _ over _ . Things were going  _ so good _ . 

 

He thought it was a joke at first, but as Keith continued to speak in a voice that was so calm it made Lance want to throw up, he realized he was serious. How could he be so calm during this? As if he didn’t care at all about the last year they were together? As if he wasn’t absolutely destroying Lance’s heart? His whole world? God, Lance couldn’t breathe.

 

Then Keith had the nerve to tell Lance that this was for  _ him _ . That Keith wasn’t what Lance deserved because he was unable to give him enough affection due to personal issues. As if the whole “It’s not you, it’s me” bullshit would do anything besides make Lance feel like his chest was caving in further and further with each word out of Keith’s mouth.

 

Did Keith really believe Lance cared about how much affection he gave him? To the point that they shouldn’t be together anymore? 

 

He needed to do something- needed to say something to get Keith to stay and realize that Lance didn’t need any of that puppy love shit as long as he was just  _ with _ him. But it hurt to just  _ breathe _ and when he opened his mouth to speak and tell Keith he loves him no matter what, please, please, please don’t leave me, all he could do is let out more pathetic, pained sobs. And with Lance not being able to say anything, and Keith having already said what he wanted to, he let out another “I’m sorry”, and left.  

 

\--------------------

  
  


It’s been a week and everything still hurt just as bad as it did when Keith had broken up with him. The first two days were spent laying in a ball on his bed, holding his stomach because that horrible, painful nauseous feeling was still there. Hunk had come over after not hearing from his friend in that time and getting worried. He didn’t mean to ignore his friend, he had just been so scared of seeing what Keith’s reply to his 13 text messages apologizing and begging him to come back would be, that he shut his phone off and took the battery out for good measure. And then proceeded to lose said battery. Just his fucking luck. 

  
  


“Lance, buddy?” Hunk quietly said before opening the door to his guest room, in which Lance had been staying in for the last few days so Hunk could force him to eat and take care of himself. Lance let out a grunt to let Hunk know he was still alive and listening. “Pidge brought some snacks over. And a few movies. Do you want to come join us?” Lance was about to decline when Pidge burst into the room. 

 

“No! You can’t ask him because he’ll say no! You have to tell him he’s going to join us, Hunk!” She went directly to the side of the bed and grabbed Lance’s leg, making him scream as she started pulling him out of the bed. “Come! On! Jesus, you’re skinny as fuck how are you so heavy!” 

 

“You’re just weak, you jerk!” Lance yelled as he kicked away from her and scrambled to the other side of the bed. Which really didn’t do much, as Hunk had walked over to the other side, grabbing Lance by the arms and pulling him out of the bed. 

 

“Lance, c’mon, you’ve spent the last week in a bed. You need to do something. We aren’t even leaving the apartment, okay? Just come into the front room. Please?” 

 

Lance finally huffed out a small “Okay” and got up to walk on his own, closely followed by Hunk and Pidge who high-fived behind his back. 

 

This was improvement, no matter how small. This was good. He’ll be okay. 

  
  


\-------------------

 

He was not going to be okay.

 

Another week had passed, he did have a couple good days, but most days were as painful as the first. Turns out, after spending over a year with someone makes it really hard to do just about anything without thinking of them. Especially falling asleep. 

 

And boy, was Lance tired. 

 

Sure, he spent hours in bed during the day, way less than the first week, but still an unhealthy amount. However, actually sleeping was difficult for him. He had gotten so used to having another body in the bed with him. Having Keith with him. Even if they didn’t cuddle up together some nights, just having him laying next to him was a comfort Lance needed to sleep. He needed to be able to feel Keith move around next to him, listening to his gentle breathing and, every now and then, quiet mumbling in his sleep. 

 

When he was able to fall asleep, it never lasted long. Waking up in the middle of the night, crying over a dream where they were still together. Dreams where he was still able to sit by Keith and tell him he loved him and actually hear it back. Sometimes they would turn into nightmares where Keith would tell him he never loved him at all, tell him it was a mistake and he thought he wasted a year of his life with Lance. Those were the worst nights. 

 

So, of course when someone doesn’t sleep, they drink coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. And when you drink as much coffee as Lance drank in that week, you inevitably run out. And with Hunk at work, and Pidge just straight up not ignoring his texts of Pleasepleasepleasebringmecoffeeimdying, his only options were to either suffer the withdrawal headaches and exhaustion, or go buy some himself. 

 

And he loves Hunk, who’s been begging him to try leaving the apartment since staying inside isn’t going to help him feel better, he decided to go to the store. 

 

In public, by himself. 

 

Where, because the universe hates him and wants to pay him back for every single thing he’s ever done wrong in his life, he runs into Keith. 

 

He was standing there in the isle, trying to remember which coffee Hunk because it was just _ the best _ , when he heard Keith’s voice. He thought it was just his sleep deprived mind messing with him, but when he turned towards the sound, he seen Keith standing at the end of the isle, phone by his ear and face frozen as he stared back at Lance. 

 

He looked like a mix between just shocked, and scared. Whereas Lance just looked  _ ruined _ . He quickly grabbed a random bag of coffee and turned away from Keith and started walking away as fast as he could without running. 

 

“Lance!” Keith called out before he got the the other end of the isle and he froze in place, shaking hands tightening around the coffee. “Please, just wait.” 

 

Lance wanted to yell at him, ask him why he couldn’t have just waited, too? Instead, he just nodded, not bothering to turn around. 

 

“You haven’t been answering any of my texts.” Keith was right behind him now, his voice tense, showing more emotion than it did when he broke Lance’s… Everything. 

 

“I…” Lance cleared his throat. “I lost my phone battery. I’ve been borrowing Hunk’s for emergencies until I go get a new one.” 

 

“So… You haven’t been able to get a new battery in two weeks?” It doesn’t sound like he believes it at all. 

 

“Uh, this is the first time I’ve been in public.” 

 

“Oh..” Lance can hear the sadness in Keith’s voice and it rips him up into even smaller bits and pieces than he was before. He can feel some of them flying away when he finally turns to face Keith. He’s looking as the ground with a pained expression.  _ God _ , Lance thinks,  _ Why couldn’t he have been this upset over losing me. _

 

“Yea. I should… I should go…” Lance turns around again to walk away but Keith grabs his arm to stop him. 

 

“Can we please talk?” Keith asks and before Lance can reply he adds, “In person.” 

 

Lance nods again and Keith lets go. 

  
  


\--------------------

  
  


They ended up going to the small cafe across the street from the store. Lance had suggested it because, Damn, he really needed coffee  _ before  _ this and now he was even more exhausted and his head was pounding and he just needed something hot burning his tongue to help keep him mentally grounded while speaking with Keith. 

 

“So,” Keith started after a few minutes of silence. “I owe you an apology-” 

 

“You already apologized 7 times when you broke up with me. How many times did you apologize through texts?” Lance bit out and they both flinches at his words. Keith because,  _ fuck, he’s right. _ And Lance because,  _ shit, don’t be rude, Lance _ . 

 

“I know. I know I fucked up. I didn’t do that good of a job at explaining myself.” Lance scoffed and took a sip of his coffee. Pleasantly too hot. Another sip. 

 

“You decided what was better for me, Keith. You hurt me and I don’t think any explanation could make it any less painful.” 

 

“Lance I-” 

 

“You didn’t even… You didn’t even seem upset. Like at all.” Lance let the tears that had gathered in his eyes fall as he stared into his coffee cup. “You didn’t even seem to care that it hurt so bad I couldn’t- still can’t breathe without it hurting  _ so fucking much _ , Keith.” He forced out a short self-deprecating laugh before wiping his face dry. 

 

“I do!” Keith’s voice cracked as his own tears, that Lance honestly wasn’t expecting, started slowly rolling down his cheeks. “Lance, I care so much, I swear. I’m just… fuck, I’m just so bad at all of this. I can’t give you all the things relationships should have. All the things you de-” 

 

“Stop saying that!” Lance yelled, causing a few people to turn their attention towards them. “You don’t get to decide what I deserve, Keith.” He rubbed his eyes furiously and let out a deep sigh. 

 

“Keith,” Lance began again more quietly, watching Keith’s face with sleep heavy eyes, “Do you think I deserve to have my heart broken?” 

 

“Wha- No! Of course not!” 

 

“So you think I deserve to be happy?” 

 

“Yes! Lance that’s all I want for you.” 

 

“Then why did you break up with me?” 

 

“I told you, I-” 

 

“Because you made me so happy, Keith. You made me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I didn’t care that you didn’t want to cuddle a lot or talk about sappy shit. I didn’t care that you didn’t like pda. All I cared about was being able to just  _ be _ with you.” 

 

Keith just stared intensely at his hands, not replying. 

 

“Right, okay.” Lance took one more drink of his coffee before grabbing his bag and standing up. “If you have anything else to talk about, I’m staying at Hunk’s.” Keith nodded, waiting for Lance to walk away before looking up and watching him leave. 

 

“Fuck.” He sighed out, covering his face to hide the tears that threatened to come again.

 

_God, did he fuck up._  


	2. Chapter 2

When Hunk came home he was surprised to see Lance already sitting on the couch, working on his laptop. He had been staying in bed until Hunk or Pidge dragged him out, so to see him up and out of bed on his own made Hunk happy. 

 

“Hey, buddy.” Hunk greeted as he took his shoes off and walked over to Lance, who just gave a small wave and continued typing away on his laptop. “You, uh… You working again?” 

 

“Yea. My boss said she’s not going to give me a third extension.” 

“Mmm, well I guess emergency funds can only last so long..” Hunk looked over Lance’s shoulder to read what he was writing. “So… You feeling okay?” Lance visibly tensed at the question and stopped typing. 

 

“I went out earlier for coffee.” Lance gestured towards the cup on the table that was now cold, left untouched for the past couple of hours after Lance had taken the first drink and decided no amount of sugar or creamer could salvage it. 

 

“Oh! That’s good!” 

 

“I ran into Keith.” 

 

“Oh, that’s… not good.” Lance closed his laptop and sighed before continuing.

“No, no, it was… good I think? I mean, we talked for a bit and he said he still cares about me and wants me to be happy, so maybe there’s still hope we can at least be friends.”

 

“Would you be okay with just being friends with Keith?” Hunk asks, watching Lance’s face closely. 

 

  
“No.” Lance lets out a sad laugh. “But if it means I’ll still be able to have him in my life, I’d do anything. I don’t care how much it hurts me.” 

 

“Lance, I don’t want you doing anything that hurts you. If you think staying away from him will help you get over it after a while, that’s what you should do.” Hunk puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, and as bad as it makes Lance feel, he can’t help but wish it was Keith who was with him right now instead of Hunk. He wishes it was Keith’s hand on his shoulder, telling him he’ll be okay. 

 

He wishes Keith was here with him, whispering loving words in his ear and promising to never leave again.

 

But it’s not Keith who’s here with him. Keith hasn’t been with him in two weeks, and Lance is starting to forget what it felt like to believe he was loved. He’s starting to doubt if Keith actually did love him to begin with. After all, how could he leave Lance like that, how could he break him so suddenly, if he had truly loved him? 

 

“I think….” Lance speaks in a quiet voice as he stands up, causing Hunk’s hand to slide off of him, “I think it would hurt even more if I didn’t have him with me, even if it’s just as… friends. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if we became strangers.” 

 

“I get it, buddy, I do. I just want you to be careful and take care of yourself first. Make sure you take all the time you need. And then, maybe after you know for sure you can handle it, you can try being friends again.”

 

“Maybe.” Is all Lance says before leaving to go work in the guest room. He’s still exhausted from seeing Keith earlier and now talking about this is making it even worse and he just really, really wants to be alone. 

  
  


\--------------------

  
  


Week three comes and goes with no word from Keith, and Lance doesn’t think he can feel anything anymore. By the time week four starts, he has already felt  _ so much _ , that everything’s started to blend together, and the only thing he can comprehend anymore is the heavy exhaustion that has fallen over him. 

 

But, hey, at least he’s able to sleep now. Sure, sleeping for hours on end, only waking up to work and eat before going back to bed, might not be the healthiest way to live. But now he doesn’t even  _ have time _ to think about how much he still hurts. So, really, Lance thinks that if he could be glad about anything right now it would be that. 

  
  


He knows this has gone on for too long. Pidge reminds him he needs to actually try getting better every time she stops by his place, which he has since gone back to. Hunk had told him he doesn’t mind Lance staying there longer, but what’s the point in paying his own rent if he’s not even living there, right? Besides, he wants to be alone, anyways. ( _ A lie, of course. _ ) 

 

And he is. 

 

Alone, that is. 

  
  


He’s never felt so alone before. It makes him feel like someone has shoved a sword through the bottom of his ribs, all the way up and out the back of his throat when he thinks about it. He knows that if he asked, Hunk and Pidge would be right by his side in a matter of minutes. But with every time he tries to ask, all he can think about is how, if Keith could leave him, what’s stopping his other two friends leaving, too? Does he even deserve to have them with him? He’s already taken up so much of their time the first couple of weeks. He can’t rely on them anymore. He shouldn’t. 

  
  


\--------------------

Halfway through week four is when Keith finally tries to contact Lance again. He’s gotten a new battery, so Keith could have just texted him. Not that he ever told him, himself. But it  _ has _ been 4 weeks so Lance thinks he should have just assumed. 

 

He didn’t text Hunk either. He had just shown up at his apartment, knocking on the door and yelling for Lance from the hallway. Hunk had called Lance right away, before even opening the door. It took a few tries, Lance had been asleep then, and when he answered Hunk wasn’t surprised to hear how tired he sounded. 

 

“Everything okay?” He had groggily asked when he finally answered his phone. 

 

“Lance, Keith is here.” Oh boy, was he more awake than he’s been in days, now. 

 

“Shit, shit, shit, uh… what does he want?” He asks while struggling to pull on a shirt. 

 

“I don’t know. I haven’t opened the door yet. He’s just out there, yelling for you.” 

 

“Ask him what he wants!” He trips while trying to get his pants on, another string of curses flowing out. “I’m okay!” He shouts into the phone before Hunk can ask. There’s a few minutes of silence on Hunk’s end, and Lance figures he’s talking to Keith. 

 

“Hey, Lance?” Hunk starts slowly. “Keith wants to talk to you. He said he doesn’t care if it’s over the phone or in person, he just wants to talk to you. Is that okay?” 

 

And suddenly, Lance’s rush of excitement with Keith looking for him is gone. The anxiety of actually interacting with him catches up to him and he has to fight himself not to hang up the phone. 

 

“Uh… uhhhh…. Hold on.” Lance puts the phone on mute and sits down on the bed for a couple minutes, trying to get his thoughts in order. Is he ready to be friends with him again? He hasn’t really been trying to get over him at all, maybe he should ask for more time.

 

But,  _ fuck _ , does he miss him. He takes the phone off mute and brings it back to his ear. 

 

“I’ll be there soon.” 

  
  


\--------------------

  
  


Usually, it takes Lance less than 10 minutes to drive to Hunks house. This time, it takes him half an hour. He takes the longest route and when he decided even that was too short, he stops at a small store and takes about 10 minutes trying to pick out something to snack on drink. He ends up buying a single pack of gum. 

 

When he gets to Hunk’s, he spends another five minutes just sitting in his car until Hunk sees him from his window on the 3rd floor and texts him. 

 

_ “You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.” _

 

He sighs at the message, waits another minute, and gets out of the car to make his way up to the apartment. The door opens before he even has to knock and smiles as Hunk hugs him tightly in the doorway. Lance pats his back a couple times before pulling away and nods at him, letting him know he’s ready. It’s been four weeks already, he’ll be  _ fine _ , you don’t have to worry anymore. Lance is strong, he can handle himself. 

 

Riiiiight up until he walks into the front room and sees Keith pacing in front of the coffee table, his mouth turned down in a tight frown and his eyes red. Said eyes snap up towards Lance when he hears him enter and he stops pacing, so still Lance can’t tell if he’s breathing. It looks like Keith hasn’t slept a single second in days, swapping rest out for crying instead. Just seeing how much of a mess he is right now makes Lance almost believe that he was wrong in thinking Keith was okay with not being with him. Almost. There’s still a lot of shit to figure out and discuss. A lot of broken pieces in him that need to be put back together before he can start trusting in “forever” again. 

 

“I’m gonna go out for a bit. Text me when you guys are done, or if you need anything. Okay, Lance?” Hunk squeezes his shoulder and Lance nods, giving him another small smile.

 

  
“Hey.” Keith breaths out after Hunk shuts the door, not removing his eyes off of Lance. 

 

“Uh.. Hi.” He slowly makes his way to the couch to sit down. Keith sits down on the other end, too far away but maybe that’s a good thing for now. With no cafe table in between them, Lance is sure he’ll have a hard time stopping himself from hugging him and never letting go, so the further the better. “You wanted to talk to me?” 

“Yea… yea I, uh,” Keith sighs and finally turns away from him to stare at his knee that he can’t seem to stop bounding due to nerves. “Just listen for a bit, okay? No talking until I’m done. Then I’ll let you say whatever you want. If you want to yell at me after I’m done, or never want to see me again, I understand.” 

 

“This doesn’t sound too good,” Lance furrows his brows at Keith and feels a stab of pain in his chest from anxiety. “But okay. I’ll listen.” 

 

Keith closes his eyes tightly, takes a deep breath, and turns his entire body towards Lance, bringing one of his legs on the couch and folding it under himself. 

 

“I know you don’t want to hear how sorry I am, but I really want to make sure you know just how much I regret what I did.” Keith’s eyes are moving between Lance’s, paying close attention to how he reacts to everything he says. “I know I shouldn’t have made a decision like that for you. I was having a really hard time convincing myself I was what you deserve. And I know that it’s not fair to you that I didn’t even try talking to you about it. I was just scared that you would tell me that I don’t need to worry because you love me.” 

 

His voice is starting to shake and he has to stop to take another deep breathe. The way he’s able to get this out without pausing every other word makes Lance realize he must have practiced this to himself dozens of times. 

 

“Which isn’t a good excuse- or an excuse at all. I don’t really think there’s any excuses for how much I hurt you. I knew you would try to make me believe I was good enough. And I appreciate how patient you always were- are, with me, and how much effort you always put in to make me feel loved. But I also know that there’s a chance I won’t ever be able to properly process or return the amount of physical affection that I strongly believe you should have. Lance, you deserve- sorry, I believe that you deserve to be held tightly every night. That you deserve to be with someone who is able to touch and be touched without getting overwhelmed sometimes. But…” He brings his sleeve up to wipe away a few stray tears that got out despite his desperate attempt to not cry during this. 

 

The sight makes Lance’s tears fall as well, although he doesn’t try to stop them like Keith does. He’s finally feeling again, and as much as it hurts, he knows it’s necessary to get through this, he can’t keep trying to force it back. 

 

“But,” Keith continues, placing his hands on the space between them. It’s a silent offering to hold hands, if Lance wants to. And he’s been without Keith’s touch for so long,  _ way too long _ , he immediately puts his hands in Keith’s and it makes them both start crying harder. “It hurts so much to not be with you. Just as much as it hurts to know that I broke your heart. I’ve been trying to get over my fear of being not enough. And I know it’s going to take a lot of time, but I realized that i won’t be able to get over it without you. You’re the only one I want to try with.” 

 

Lance’s heart is beating so fast and he feels nauseous again, but he feels a genuine spark of happiness deep in his chest for the first time in over a month. It’s small, but he still feels it and it allows him to smile, just a gentle tilt of the side of his mouth that Keith returns

  
  


“It’s… extremely selfish of me to ask for a second chance. And I understand if you want more time. Or if you just give me a solid ‘No’. If you want me to leave you alone for good, or if you just want to stay friends, that’s okay too. I’ll do whatever you want to.” He lets out a loud sigh and squeezes Lance’s hands. “That’s, um… that’s as far as I figured out words for…” 

 

They sit there for a few minutes in silence; Keith watching Lance’s face, as Lance stares at their joined hands. He has about a thousand thoughts in his head right now. He wants time, but he doesn’t want to wait anymore. He wants to be able to yell at Keith for waiting two weeks since their last meet to try talking to him again, but he also just wants to let him know he understands how much trouble Keith has with these kinds of things. 

 

It’s finally hit him that Keith has broken his own heart, and yet here he is, ready to risk breaking it even more if Lance tells him no. How could he ever say no, though? 

 

Lance takes a deep breath before staring back into Keith’s eyes, determination as clear as day on his face. 

 

“I have a few questions before I decide.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaaa I know I said it was only going to be 2 chapters BUT Im horrible so its going to be 3 now. I promise to finish it in the next chapter.   
> Also thank you so much for the Kudos and comments! I wasn't planning on ever writing angst because I dont want to hurt them but honestly its so much easier than fluff for me so I might write more lol


	3. Chapter 3

“I have a few questions before I decide.” Lance states and Keith quickly nods. 

 

“Anything you want. I Promise I’ll answer anything as best as I can.” 

 

“Why were you so calm when you broke up with me?” Keith’s eyes widen a bit at that. 

 

“I…” He swallows the lump in his throat and thinks at how to word it before answering. “It was… a really… really, _ really _ hard thing for me to do. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I didn’t care at all, I swear. At first I was trying not to breakdown and cry. But, after you asked me if I was serious, I just kind of… Shut down, I guess? I’ve been trying to work on expressing my emotions better for years, but it’s still hard when I feel too much at once.” 

 

Lance nods at his answer. He knew Keith has trouble expressing how he truly feels; easily falling into his heartless facade most of the time. Knowing that, however, he still couldn’t help but feel like- 

 

“I thought you didn’t love me anymore.” He whispers so, so quietly. Keith hears it nonetheless, and squeezes his hands even tighter. 

 

“Oh my god, Lance, no. No, fuck, I’m so fucking s-  _ fuck _ . I know I broke your heart, but  _ please _ , don’t ever forget I love you so much. More than I’ve ever loved anyone before.” One of his hands lets go of Lance’s and starts to raise, but it stops in mid-air. “Can I… can I touch you?” 

 

Lance lets out a choked sob and nods. 

 

“Oh, Lance.” He says softly, moving his hand again to caress Lance’s cheek, using his thumb to wipe away tears. “Tell me what you need me to do.” 

 

“I don’t know.” Lance stops trying to hold back his tears again. The pain in his chest is back and it feels like it’s breaking all over again.  _ God, why do feelings have to physically hurt, too. This is so unfair.   _

 

“Do you have any more questions?” Keith asks and he nods. 

 

“How do I know you won’t leave me again, if I give you another chance?” It hurts so think about. This whole thing just  _ fucking hurts _ . 

 

“I can’t… I can’t  _ make _ you trust me.” He takes a few seconds to steady his voice. “But, I’m being completely honest when I say that the past month has been the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with. I wouldn’t be able to live through losing you again, Lance.” 

 

“It’s going to take me a while to trust you.” 

 

“I know, I’ll do whatever it takes to gain your trust back.” The hand that Keith still had in Lance’s moves to hold his other cheek, and Lance’s hand follows right away, placing it over his. 

 

“I’m scared.” He hates how vulnerable he sounds but getting a grip on his voice is not a thing he’s capable of right now. 

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, Lance. I can’t believe you’re even considering giving me another chance, and I swear I’m going to try my absolute hardest to be everything you need and more. I… I promise I’ll hold you every night and do all those cheesy romantic things you love, and I’ll-”

 

“No!” Lance pulls away from him and Keith freezes, scared he’s completely ruined it  _ again _ . “Keith, I told you I don’t care about all of that!” He harshly rubs at his face, finally trying to dry his own tears before rubbing at his nose to get rid of some of the snot that’s edging close to his lip.  _ God, he’s a mess. _

 

“Lance-” 

 

“No!...No…. Keith, I meant it when I said that the only thing I cared about was being able to be with you. I know you don’t like physical touch sometimes, or affection, I knew well before I asked you out. I never cared about that. I mean, yea, I love it when you want to cuddle, or hold holds, or when you get in one of your moods where the only thing you’re able to talk about is how much you adore me. But that’s not the only thing I was here for. That’s not the only thing I want with you.” Lance calms himself and grabs Keith’s hands again. 

 

“I still love it when all we do is lay on the floor and listen to music without talking for hours. Or when we just sit next to each other and tell jokes or talk about our day. I love it when I get to sit in the hallway and listen to you try to sing in the shower, and when you wake up first and try making breakfast without waking me up but you’re always too loud. So, no. I don’t mind that you aren’t a sappy person. All I want is to be able to  _ exist _ with you. I want you to be comfortable and not have to worry about forcing yourself to be okay with things you ‘think I deserve’. I love you, Keith.  _ You _ . And if you don’t want affection sometimes, that’s okay. All I need-  _ all I deserve _ -” He smiles at Keith and brings his hands back up to cup his face. “Is to know you love me back and you won’t leave me.” 

 

“I won’t! I promise I won’t!” Keith exclaims through sobs, sad tears starting to turn into happy ones as more hope starts to fill his heart. 

 

“It’s still going to take me a while to believe,” 

 

“I’ll be patient!” 

 

“And you’ll need to actually talk to me when you start having doubts or your self-esteem starts getting bad again so we can work things out better.”

 

“Of course! Yes! Fuck, Please tell me this means you’re giving me another chance.” Keith’s eyes are wider than Lance has ever seen them, and a grin is starting to stretch across his face.

 

“One more condition.” 

 

“Anything! God, I can’t believe you’re giving me another chance,  _ holy shiiiiit. _ ” 

 

“Keith,” Lance starts, trying to sound serious but failing, unable to keep the smile off his face. “I will give you  _ ONE _ more chance, if you, um.… uh… okay, shit, I don’t actually have another condition. Yes.”

 

“Yes? As in ‘Yes, you’ll be my boyfriend’ again?” 

 

“Yes, I’ll be your boyfriend again.” Lance smiles and laughs as Keith lunges forward to hug him. 

 

“Fuck, holy shit, I can’t believe this. Oh my god. I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll never hurt you again!” 

 

“You’re still on probation!” Lance says, but hugs back. 

 

“Of course!” Keith hugs him tighter. 

 

“And better communication! I expect to know every single issue you have! no matter how small!” 

 

“Deal!” 

 

“Pinky promise?” Lance pulls away and hold his pinky out to Keith. 

 

“Pinky promise.” He says as he wraps his pinky around Lance’s, bringing it towards him and kissing it. Lance does the same before properly holding his hand and setting it between them. 

 

“Is holding hands still okay, right now?” 

 

“Yes! God, I’ve missed touching you so much. I’m a little emotionally overwhelmed right now, honestly, but I feel like if I let go I’ll break or something.” Lance nods in understanding and keeps their hands together. 

 

“Don’t forget to let me know if it gets too much. If I find out you’re holding anything back, I’m going to be upset.”

 

“I won’t, I won’t!” 

 

“Mmm. Good. Now, I’m going to text Hunk and let him know he can come home. Maybe see if he can grab Pidge so we can all hang out again, like normal.” Keith agrees and watches as Lance grabs his phone to text Hunk.

 

\--------------------

  
  


Hunk shows up half an hour later with a couple boxes of pizza and Pidge, who goes straight to the couch, grabs a pillow, and starts hitting Keith. She’s trying to punish him for hurting Lance, but in the end it just turns into a pillow fight between all four of them; Hunk and Pidge vs. Keith and Lance. 

 

It’s incredibly nice, having everyone together again like this. Lance still feels bad for being so messed up and making Hunk and Pidge worry about him so much the past month, but he knows it’ll be okay. They’re his best friends and they love him. 

 

And of course, like with all broken hearts, it’ll still be a while until he’s completely okay. If he can actually reach that point again, he’s not sure. He’s definitely going to try, though. And right now, watching his two best friends and the man he loves with everything he's got, he thinks it might not be that hard to heal. 

  
  
  


Keith turns to him and smiles that sweet smile that got Lance to fall in love with him in the first place, and he can already feel the pieces of his heart, albeit very slowly, making their way back together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done!!! This is the first fanfic I've ever finished! not counting oneshots.  
> I *kind of* want to try writing a part from Keith's pov, since I understand his end of it better so writing that would be a bit easier for me but im not sure yet.  
> Let me know if you think thatd be something youd be interested in????  
> tysm for reading !!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to make this one really long thing. but then i got tired n i still want to post Something so im just splitting it into two parts now. Next chapter within the next couple of days <3


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